it was just very hard i was definitely always way more insecure about my looks than my personality i feel like I always tried to make up for where i felt insecure physically with my personality so i tried really best marketing essay writing in UK hard to just be super nice make friends with everyone try to be as funny as i possibly could be that way if people were gonna make fun of me it was only in me for my appearance and not my personality i started showing really severe symptoms of body dysmorphic disorder um probably around eighth grade to freshman year um and it got really bad my picking my the picking of my face just got extremely severe um like to the point where i like i would like my back would suffer from like bending and hunching over the mirror and picking my face i never took photos I begged people to not take photos of me um i had to avoid looking into mirrors because like it would just give me panic attacks if i did look into a mirror I would see my body uh kind of like hallucinate and change right in front of me which is very scary my insecurity points i would see finance essay writing help online they would morph when i was looking into the mirror and what I saw in the mirror was like very different than like what other people saw when they looked at me it's very complicated and hard to really explain because there are still days where i just don't really even know what i look like i'm not familiar with my own appearance and i think that just comes from like years of looking in the mirror and i would like look at my face and i would see like my nose get bigger and smaller right in front of my face don't worry i'm currently in therapy don't worry but i just want to share my experience with this because i was really really hard on myself and i was really really suffering as a young girl and it would be to the point where i would just I would sit in front of the mirror uh by myself and i would just pick my face for hours i would just stare at myself for hours and i would think oh if i had three wishes like these are the things about myself that i would change these are like my physical features that I would change and i would just daydream about being able to change those features i was extremely self-deprecating and i felt myself annoyingly fishing for compliments and just trying to receive compliments to try to just reassure myself that I wasn't as like ugly as i looked to myself and the thing is is like it doesn't matter how beautiful you are how great you are.